Karmic Thought For The Day

Mean Streets

2011-08-10T13:16:00.000-07:00

I found the riots in London and other parts of the UK this week truly terrifying and my heart goes out to all those innocent families who have lost homes and businesses. I didn't sleep well Monday night, there was a feeling of menace in the air even though I was tucked up safely some 30 miles from any danger and that is because I have a secret horror of this kind of breakdown of civilization. To me it was reminiscent of films such as The Road, Legend and 28 Days Later where some catastrophic event has lead to sectors of the population becoming 'infected' or displaced, leading to violence and a hunted existence for those unaffected. I find myself dwelling on the possibility of this situation, some mutated virus resistant to antibiotics, a natural disaster caused by global warming, nuclear war, but now another ugly possibility has raised it's head, the underbelly of society, anarchists, angry youths, whoever they are, seeking to destroy, with no soul or conscience.

I recently read Sue Palmer's book Toxic Childhood and she sets out quite clearly the reasons, in her opinion, that children become feral: lack of adult guidance, attention and role modelling; poor diet, too much sugar and additives; too little sleep; too much TV and computer games, which dissociates the child from reality, leads to poor concentration and focus, a need for instant gratification and a poor grasp of reality; plus the nature of TV these days, full of reality shows, teaches children that you can achieve success apparently by doing very little, winning x factor, going on big brother, dating someone famous. Of course the reality is that many of these people, despite appearances are very disciplined and hard working. Many young people seem to think it is their right to have material success without actually doing the hard slog necessary to obtain it.
The other problem with TV is the aggressive marketing that children are exposed to, steering them towards inappropriate clothing and toys. It is a seriously depressing situation and I don't know how we are going to set about changing things.
Many people during these riots have been shocked at the young age of some of the looters, 'Where are their parents?' has been a universal cry, but that is the problem, mainly they either have parents who aren't that concerned where they are, or who have lost control. Sue Palmer talks about visiting run down inner city areas, where children are becoming increasingly feral. 'Many of the children don't have children's faces-they're pinched and angry with dead eyes. For them violence is a fact of daily life. Their parents- deprived, uneducated, often scarcely more than children themselves-are often junkies, alcoholics, involved in crime.'
Obviously not all the rioters fit into this category, it turns out some had good jobs and were 'respectable' citizens, who saw an opportunity to loot and steal or get involved in the thrill of the violence and drama.
As a parent, I try and spend time with my kids, give them positive attention, feed them well, send them to bed on time, ensure they get plenty of exercise and fresh air and spend time in natural environments, limit TV and teach them values which I consider important. It's hard work, sometimes boring, unpaid of course, which is probably why a lot of parents would rather stick them in front of a TV or computer. Plus society has devalued the role of motherhood, so that you almost feel lazy for not working outside the home. But society begins in the home, the values you need to be a good member of the community are taught and modelled in the home, just as social skills and table manners are picked up during family meal times and conversations. We need to concentrate on the next generation of young families and make sure that these kids are being taught more humanitarian skills. As Sue Palmer predicted in 2006 'Children are our most significant investment for the future, and the toxic cocktail is already undermining the social, emotional and intellectual development of an unacceptable number. Even if your own offspring have escaped unscathed, the world they're growing up in is full of others who've been less fortunate. As more children become distractable, impulsive and lacking in empathy, antisocial behaviour will increase. If toxic childhood syndrome is not stemmed, it will pose an increasing threat to social cohesion.'

Fair Trade Summer Goodies

2011-06-30T13:27:00.000-07:00

Just arrived today, a box of Fair Trade items perfect for summer...

Great accessories for your look, these beautiful, brightly coloured bangles, handpainted in the style of Kashmir. Vibrant ethnic jewellery, sure to compliment any outfit.

Cotton knit headbands, perfect for keeping your hair under control on a windy beach, camping or chilling out at a festival.

Fun beaded felt dreadlock scrunchies

For days out at the beach we have these extremely pretty and roomy beach bags with floral prints inspired by Himalayan flowers...

...and bright, lively cotton sarongs in a bag, can be worn over a swimsuit or as a dress, soft and comfortable.

Unusual bags, light, cotton banana shaped bag in flower prints, roomy with a zip opening and a cotton hippy sun design ethnic shoulder bag with metallic embroidery

New Shoots

2011-05-22T00:54:00.000-07:00

I have been unusually quiet of late, been making a few changes in both my business and personal life. Firstly I have been spending more time in my garden, trying to grow more vegetables and become more self sufficient this year. I read a very inspiring book called 'Animal,Vegetable,Miracle' by Barbara Kingsolver about her family's attempts to eat only local, seasonal food for a year. She's a very witty and interesting writer, plus she knows an awful lot about the history and politics of food production, scary reading at times! This has encouraged me to attempt to grow heritage tomatoes from seed, heritage being older, scarcer varieties which are in danger of being lost if people don't grow them, tastier too I hope. So far they are coming on well, my new babies! Every morning the first thing I do is check on them and give them a quick spritz. I'm also keen to get some chickens, but that will need more thought and planning, so maybe next year.

Secondly I've also taken on the role of secretary for the school PTA, I'll be joining the WI next! It's the first time in my life I've got involved in any committee or group, so quite a departure for me, plus I'm not used to airing my opinions, so it will be good experience for me.

So as you can imagine I've been spreading myself rather thinly and something had to give and that turned out to be my ebay shop. I'd had a week of very busy orders and a few problems with items missing in the post and was feeling quite stressed, then I had a rude and unreasonable email from a French customer, which was the final straw.I realized I had no choice but to comply with her demands, or I would receive negative feedback and no doubt ebay would side with her anyway. I was also doing my accounts and could see that although I had a very healthy turnover on ebay, my profit margins were 'razor thin' as they say. Coupled with the constant threat of negative feedback, low dsr's and loss of top rated status, I suddenly realized this is no way to earn a living, financially or spiritually, especially given the type of products I am selling. I know most sellers don't particularly enjoy selling on ebay, but nowhere else, apart from maybe amazon, gives you so much exposure and brings in so many customers. So it could be business suicide to jump ship. But really I felt like I was pushed, by unreasonable customers, and a system weighted towards them. And over 1 month on I am still here, sometimes you have to be brave and follow your heart and I would have rather shut up shop completely than carry on working in that way. I also thought I'll take some of the advice given by the authors I sell, make a positive change and believe that good things will come from that. And I have been happier, had more time and probably because I've also had more time to spend on my website, I've seen visitor numbers and sales increase, plus I'm still selling on amazon, so my bank balance is healthier too. Ebay kept my shop for me for 1 month, in case I changed my mind, but there's no going back now!

New Arrivals

2011-03-31T09:49:00.000-07:00

Another week nearly over and thank goodness things have picked up a little bit sales wise, although my mood hasn't improved much. A difficult pilates class on monday trying to balance on a silly little ball and hold impossibly painful positions set my temperament to irritated. This has been compounded by potty training an extremely stubborn and wily daughter, so I've not been at my happiest yet again. Never mind I'm hoping for a break on Mothers Day.

This week I've taken delivery of some new tealight holders, an extremely pretty and shabby chic stylie lotus and a ceramic owl.

I've also got some tumblestone crystals, all of which are connected with angelic healing: seraphinite, celestite, prehnite, iolite, tanzanite, they are larger than average and great quality. Will hopefully have time to put them on the site tomorrow.

An Off Week

2011-03-27T14:24:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful day it's been today, in fact what a fabulous week. We actually sat out in the garden most of the day, enjoying lunch and tea al fresco, amazing for March. My lovely son got a Respect Award from school which is great, however when I asked him what it was for, he said 'Respect' in such a scornful and belligerent manner, I'm thinking of handing it back to his teacher!

Despite the gorgeous weather, I've been feeling quite cynical and pessimistic this week which is unlike me. I'm reading a book recommended by my son's head called 'Toxic Childhood' by Sue Palmer, in fact I bought 3 of her books in an amazon bundle and it makes scary reading, if you've got kids I'd really recommend it! I think coupled with the worrying subject of my bedtime reading, the horrors unfolding in Japan, the unrest in the Middle East and the general depressing news, I've also had a slow week business wise. It's scary how sales can drop dramatically for no apparent reason, leaving me feeling that I've been switched off. Plus I've had a run of items go missing in the post, arriving damaged and a couple of people who I suspect are trying to pull a fast one, oh and 2 low dsr's on ebay for postage charges. (Those of you who are top rated sellers on ebay, will know how much that strikes fear into the heart). I have seriously considered giving it up as a bad job. But after a good night's sleep, I decided to make the majority of my ebay listings free postage to avoid low dsr's on postage charges and to stop shipping to USA. Not only have a high number of packages gone missing, Americans are by far the most demanding customers, expecting their item to arrive yesterday, and quite stroppy if things don't go to plan. I had the strangest email the other day in response to a feedback request which was quite hostile but gave me no clue as to why they were unhappy with their purchase. Another lady who had an item that hadn't arrived, said she 'would have to ban international sellers'! Doesn't the buyer have the power to choose who they shop with? I don't recall twisting your arm! My children have learned some choice swear words this week ! There's a great sense of power and freedom which comes with the ability to say no, I can choose who I trade with. Sorry to offend any Americans, but enough is enough!

Things have picked up over the weekend again, so hopefully next week will be busier, I have some new stock arriving, although after 2 years, I'm still no nearer predicting with any confidence, which items will be good sellers. Retail's a funny old business, I have to constantly alter my strategies, a bit like bringing up kids I suppose, something works for a while, then you have to do an about turn- toxic kids, toxic customers !! Hopefully I'll be back to my usual sunny self next week....

Religion: Holistic

2011-03-11T08:34:00.000-08:00

Like everyone else,we have just received our 2011 census and I've come to a complete standstill at the question of religion. I am most definitely not any of the religions listed and yet I'm balking at ticking no religion, as neither am I an atheist, I am indeed a very spiritual person. I was just debating whether to put Humanist, when I suddenly remembered an article I read in the latest edition of Kindred Spirit. William Bloom recommends that those of us who are into 'things that are weird and wonderful, psychic and angelic, global and shamanic, healing and transformative' use the word 'Holistic' to encompass all these various spiritualities. If everyone who has these beliefs uses the same word to describe them, Bloom believes that the statistics will then show that there 'really is a dynamically new kind of spirituality in the United Kingdom', which in turn may lead to it being taken more seriously in terms of being allowed to be talked about in schools, hospitals etc.

In past censuses people have either ignored the question or put something silly such as 'Jedi', this is actually a sad waste of a very interesting source of information for future generations, as well as for the present government. My mother is heavily into family history and has copies of many censuses from days long gone, and they are fascinating slices of history, especially when you compare several of the same place: you can see how quickly families grew, how many children died, how people moved around or stayed put for years. We discovered for example that there was an old gypsy caravan in our road for many years and that a lot of the houses are older than we realized and had some interesting families living in them. So I think it is a great idea to try and be as informative and honest as possible: reading that someone in your house or street was a 'jedi' might make you laugh, but wouldn't tell you much about that person other than they were a joker (or a twit!), but to read that someone was 'Holistic' would give you much more insight into the way they lived their life.

For more information visit www.holisticmap.org

See You Jimmy!

2010-10-02T11:33:00.000-07:00

Week 5 of the new school year and already we've reached the moment I've been dreading since my kids were born, 'creating an outfit', in this case for 'international day'. I can't sew and hate it anyway, have no bits of material, buttons or trimmings hanging around like my mother and to make matters worse I only have the weekend to make it, as the fact that they were dressing up mysteriously passed me by, despite avidly reading newsletters and curriculum updates.

As my dad pointed out, everyone dresses the same these days, so we're really looking at traditional or stereotypical ideas of foreign dress, which could be a bit of a minefield. A friend has loaned us a scottish tartan hat, which is great as I'm Scottish by birth, but it comes attached to a mad See U Jimmy style ginger wig (remember Russ Abbott?). So I risk offending genuine Scots by suggesting they're all ginger and crazy and the redheads in the class by suggesting that redheads are usually Scottish nutcases. Not helped by the fact that as soon as my son dons the tartan cap, he starts reeling around in a drunken manner trying to do a scottish accent. Not at all pc!

The dilemma now is how far do I take it, how much effort should I go to? Leave it at the hat and risk looking like we couldn't be bothered or go the whole hog and risk looking like we tried too hard and possibly make him the laughing stock of the school? I have found a red kilt in a charity shop which he says he doesn't mind wearing and I can cut a sporran out of a furry bag I bought (see I can be creative) but I have a terrible fear of making him look silly. Mind you if anyone can carry it off, he can, he loves dressing up and he'd probably make everyone laugh clowning around. One thing's for sure, by the end of the day, the whole school will know who he is and me by default. Are we brave (heart) enough? After all Sean Connery looks his most masculine and hunky in a kilt...and if anyone takes the mick I can give them a Glaswegian kiss!

Happiness Is A Beautiful View

2010-09-19T14:10:00.000-07:00

In my line of business, the spiritual and new age industry, happiness and the pursuit of fulfillment is big business. I only have to glance through this month's copy of Kindred Spirit to see a myriad of ads offering healing, spells, readings, classes, retreats, coaching and regressions all dedicated to helping the recipient find themselves and their path in life. Reading the National Trust magazine I spotted an article entitled 'Simple Pleasures' which was an interesting read. They had asked a selection of fairly highbrow people, what their simple pleasure was. Quite an interesting variety: knitting, cooking, clever twists of grammar (whatever floats your boat!!), a scenic place, architecture, a new experience. The article quotes research by the New Economics Foundation which says that well being 'combines five factors: good relationships with friends and family; physical activity, particularly outside; alertness to the world around, especially its beauty; continued learning of anything from a skill to a subject; and last, altruism'. No surprise really then that illnesses like depression are now being diagnosed in children as young as 3, with family relationships more under stress than ever, with extended families often living quite a distance from each other; outside activities on the decline thanks to computers and television; connection with the world around seems to be unnecessary as kids (and many adults) immerse themselves in computer games and chat rooms hour after hour and as for altruism- forget it, although the schools seem to be trying to educate our children now how to be a good member of a community and the novel idea of considering others feelings as well as your own.

For me, one of the many things that makes me happy is a beautiful view. Before we had children we would regularly escape to a farm cottage tucked away up a rugged hillside in west wales, that had a beautiful panoramic view over the valley below. I used to love to see how the sky and fields changed with the light and the weather, it gave me such inner peace and I always cried when we had to leave. Now, with young children, rain and mud aren't so appealing, but I did pay extra this summer for a caravan with a sea view, so once again I could gaze at the ever changing view.

This need of mine for a view makes moving house very difficult too, we live opposite an open field with trees and whilst not the prettiest view in the world, it beats looking out at other houses. So whenever we consider moving and I look at what we would have to sacrifice, unless we win the lottery and can afford the sort of house with the sweeping vistas I crave, I prefer to stay put. And if I feel the need for more scenery I just pop up to Cliveden , our nearest National Trust property, which always has the power to uplift and soothe with its beauty and spectacular views.

West Wales

Cliveden

September Resolutions

2010-09-18T04:29:00.000-07:00

We're 2 weeks into the new school year and I'm beginning to settle into this new rhythm of life, although it's been hard getting up early and having to get out of the house by a certain time. No more leisurely breakfasts in our pyjamas. Plus I've felt the pressure to look half way decent at the school gates, which for me means washing my wild bed head hair every day and taming it with straighteners into the desired bob. It doesn't help that my son has the infuriating habit of putting his school bag, sweater, lunch bag whatever, down somewhere obscure, sparking a mad last minute search guaranteed to send my blood pressure soaring. Our recent burglary has added to the rush, as I am now locking our bedroom door, so that the last remaining computer won't be taken. Of course, no sooner do I lock it, than I realize I need a sweater, or my shoes, so I guess this habit isn't going to last long. Luckily a good friend lives opposite the school and I can park in her driveway, meaning I can sail up the road with 2 minutes to spare knowing I won't have to join in the bun fight for parking spaces!

It seems that September, perhaps more than January feels like the start of a new year. Seeing the children bright and shiny in their new uniforms, all pristine and fresh, seems to spark something in the mums. I've lost count of how many friends have said they're going to start a new fitness regime, diet, club etc. and I too feel the desire to change something or start something new. Thoughts of joining a choir, learning to swim more proficiently pass through my mind, but realistically I still don't have the time to take on too much at the moment with my website and daughter not at nursery until January, so I turn to more manageable goals. Getting more organized is one that leaps to the forefront. Before I had kids I was very organized, a bit messy maybe, but nothing like the paralysing panic that can hit me now when I realize I have no idea where I put that very important document, my car keys are missing again, meaning a search through all my pockets and the laundry basket, that safe place which I thought would be a good idea is now a mystery to me and I'm drowning in clutter and paperwork waiting to be sorted. This chaos was one of the reasons we were burgled, stuff on show, easy pickings, the lesson I've taken from this is to be more mindful in everything I do, hard when you've got children twittering in stereo. Have I locked the car, put the handbrake on (another thing I forgot to do!) do I need to make a note of where I've put things or a to do list? Plus now I have my son's school life to oversee, homework, letters home (actually emails now), things to take in, things to bring home, party invites to reply to, money to pay and this week items of uniform to chase up or give back to their rightful owner! So for his sake I need to get a grip, I can't have him being the only boy in the class who's forgotten his soft toy ( cue mad dash home through rush hour traffic!) or getting into trouble because I've lost his homework. This one change, will I'm sure make a big difference to my life and my blood pressure and I'm sure everyone is going to appreciate the new calmer, highly organized me.

The Icing On The Cake...Not!

2010-08-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

I was very excited today to be delivering my children to the hands of a friend's nanny so I could prepare for their joint party tomorrow. I imagined a few hours icing the cakes, and then some me time, read a book, maybe even have a nap. But no everything these days seems to take forever, like wading through treacle, to the point that the clock seems to be racing round and I'm moving backwards!.
Now Polly has a pretty pink butter icing confection topped with flowers and a 'hello kitty' decoration. Edwards' a garish red iced cake with a wobbly spider's web and a spiderman figure in pride of place. Plus various shades of fairy cake. What I hadn't allowed for is the virtual impossibility of creating your own red icing, especially butter icing, the best I could do was a muddy dark pink with the help of some black colouring. With the vision of some of the more 'macho' boys at the party giggling at Edward's pink cake, I chucked half a ton of butter icing in the bin. I also discovered more food colouring means yuckier taste (maybe that's why I hate shop cakes). Eventually I managed a passable red with glace icing mixed with red and a dash of black food colouring. Piping the spider's web proved tricky too for my not so steady hands. All in all it certainly isn't cheaper to make your own cakes any more, especially if you factor in the enormous amount of time, mess and not inconsiderable stress, but looking at them now I can see the labour of love and I hope my children will appreciate that.

Spiderman Cake

Hello Kitty Cake

The whole party thing has been quite stressful, probably on a par with delivering a seminar at work or attending a gruelling meeting, which just goes to prove what I've always believed, if you take away situations that lead to stress, you'll just create stress around other, more trivial situations. Maybe it is part of the human condition-we need stress, if there's no anxiety in my life, I'll invent some. Have I got enough presents for prizes and party bags? Am I going to be able to control 20 odd children enough to get them to play games? Will enough people turn up? But all the effort will be worth it when I see the kid's faces as they enjoy a good old fashioned party with homemade cakes and retro party games followed by a bit of a boogie to high school musical. I might even have fun after a couple of shots of fizzy pink wine!

Seize The Day

2010-01-29T15:32:00.000-08:00

I've finally got around to transferring my camcorder footage onto dvd (burning as us techies call it) and watching them has stirred up quite a lot. There's the usual surprise at how much the children have grown, tinged with the sadness that they'll never be that way again, plus the regret that they looked so cute and I don't think I fully appreciated how adorable they were. On top of that there was some unexpected footage of my recently deceased and much loved and missed grandmother. This upset me hugely because it was so fleeting (not to mention wobbly and out of focus), why didn't I take more shots and linger longer? I've tended to flick around quickly just getting brief shots of everything, but on watching it back, I realize I want to see more, so note to self to keep camera panned for longer.

The particular footage of my Grandma was during a family outing, which I remember as a very special end enjoyable day, but often I look back at the film and know that I didn't make the most of that day or hadn't been fully aware of lucky and happy I was.

The other thing I realized is that it's not just the special occasions which are so captivating, the ordinary everyday footage-having breakfast, bathtime,children's chatter is actually more precious, as it gives us a snapshot of life at that time, how the children's voices sounded, what decor and furniture we had, hairstyles, clothes etc. etc.

This was brought more sharply into focus by seeing a friend's footage of childhood cine film which her husband had had transferred to dvd. It was amazing to see her as a child, plus the clothes, food ,cars,hairstyles of the time. I found it incredibly moving to see shots of parents and grandparents who were no longer in her life. It is such a shame that it is often only in hindsight that we fully appreciate what we had. For a lot of people sudden death, illness or dramatic lifestyle change brings this sharply into reality, but I am determined this year to try and count my blessings and appreciate every ordinary day.